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Hey, being in a good relationship is one of the best things that life has to offer. But what happens when a seemingly good relationship all of a sudden turns bad?

Let’s face it, this is one of the worst things that life throws our way. Perhaps you just went through a boyfriend break up recently and are feeling the deep hurt and pain that goes along with it. But there may be a silver lining. The fact of the matter is that the vast majority of relationships can be saved as long as you follow the right steps and are willing to do whatever it takes to get back together.

The first thing to do is make the most of the time that you are split apart. Use it to take a look at how things are, and how things were. Don’t beat yourself up or get caught in feelings of guilt. Instead, think of it as a time to work some things out on your own, without your boyfriend interrupting that process. Which just so happens to bring us to the next step…

Break off all contact with him. That’s right. While you may believe that he would take you back in an instant if he only gave you a chance to explain how you really feel, and how much you need him, the fact is that if you come on too strong you will only push him further away. Therefore the best thing to do after a boyfriend break up is to give him plenty of time and space alone. This means no telephone calls, no text messages or emails, and no bumping into him “accidentally” as he’s going throughout his day.

If you feel you absolutely must tell him all of your feelings, then write him a nice long letter instead. Tell him everything and feel free to bare your soul. Don’t hold anything back and share your innermost secrets and plead and say everything else that needs to be said. BUT…do not send him the letter. Instead, light it on fire (remember to exercise good safety precautions when doing this) and watch it burn away. Doing this will allow you to bare your feelings without risking him taking it the wrong way, because he will never know you even wrote the letter, much less what it may have said.

The other thing you need to do after going through a boyfriend break up is figure out what went wrong in the first place. This will be harder to do if the split came as a surprise, but even so, it’s still possible to figure things out if you’re willing to dig deep and be honest with yourself during the process. After all, you can’t fix your relationship if you don’t know which parts of it are broken.

Once you have done all of these things, and given your ex enough time, you can set up a meeting to talk about things. This isn’t a date, but just a chance for both of you to talk about some of the things you have been thinking about while you were apart.